Where Did We Go Wrong?
by inspired-tears
Summary: Bella and Edward seek marriage counseling
1. therapy

**HEY! I'm new to fan fic so please be nice. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

"We're not going to make it Dr. Carlisle".

Bella picked up her cup of coffee from the table and sipped. Her tears streamed down her cheeks as she looked over at Edward.

Today had been their first session with Dr. Carlisle.

"Our marriage is slipping and I can't fix it" Bella sobbed.

Carlisle looked over at Edward and said, "What's going on Edward?"

Edward sat upright in his chair very serious. He shrugged his shoulders and stared at Carlisle's bookshelf.

" Look at your wife. She looks frightened. She says she can't reach you anymore".

"I'm here" Edward mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Carlisle asked. "Did you say something?"

Bella turned her head and looked Edward in his eyes. "You're not here. You haven't been here. You're always gone and you don't take Esme to school anymore."

"So now you're saying I'm a bad father? I love that little girl more than anything in the world"

"You have a hell of a way of showing it".

"Bella..." Carlisle started but Bella interrupted.

"No! I'm there all the time. I work, come home and find him in bed. What is it Edward? Are you having a mid-life crisis or something".

"Bells I'm 35 years old. What are you talking about?"

"Edward, what's the matter? why don't you spend time with your family?"

Edward turned to Bella and said, "Do you remember what I told you on our first date?"

Dr. Carlisle stopped taking notes in his notebook and turned to Bella.


	2. flashback

"Zip me up Alice".

Alice got up from Bella's bed and zipped up her black dress.

"I just know these heels are going to kill me". She pulled on her bright red lipstick and kept her long curly hair down.

" You smell really nice Bella."

"Thanks Jess. I'm so nervous. Edward asked me of all people to go out with him tonight. He's so hot".

Jessica chuckled and asked, "What if your mom calls? Should I tell her you're in the library studying?"

"Yeah, and tell her I'll call her back tomorrow".

" I wish I were you" Alice whined and threw herself on the bed. "I've had a thing for Edward ever since High School".

"Jess we're in college. College boys are everywhere. Go to a party tonight. "

"I wish I could bring boys to the dorms. Maybe I wouldn't get so bored here without you".

Bella looked at her watch and then ran to the door.

"How do I look?"

"Beautiful" Jessica said. Bella ran out the door and down the stairs. She walked towards the library and could see Edward's shadow. She sighed and smiled as she walked towards him.

He smiled once she reached him. "Wow".

Bella blushed. I think I'm over dressed.

Edward wore a red plaid shirt and blue jeans. "No, you look perfect".

"So um.. where are we going?"

Edward put his arm around Bella. "My car".

Edward opened the car door and Bella stepped in. "This better be a nice place" she said.

He looked at her and grinned.

"So tell me a little bit about yourself Edward. What are you going to do after college?"

" I want to play music. My brother Jasper has a band and he wants me to be a guitarist".

Bella imagined how great it would sound.

_Hi my name is Bella and my boyfriend is Edward Cullen. He's in a band._

"What?" Edward smiled and looked at her.

"Huh?"

"Why are you smiling?" he chuckled. "Is it ridiculous?"

"No, I think it's great."

Edward pulled up and turned off the car.

"Here we are Bells."

Bella looked up at the neon lights. It was a bar and Jasper's band was performing tonight.

"Oh my god! You're playing here tonight?"

Edward smiled and took out his guitar case from the trunk. I want you to watch me perform tonight. She nodded and Edward put his hand in hers as they made their way into the bar.


	3. home

**HOME**

Edward slammed the door as he walked through the front door. He threw his jacket on the couch and Bella made her way upstairs to check on renesmee and Alice.

He fixed himself a sandwich and took out a beer from the fridge.

"How'd it go Bella?" Alice whispered so she wouldn't wake up esmee.

"Oh great. I found out that my husband hates me because I made him leave Jasper's band. I've been crying like a lunatic all day. He hasn't said one word to me since we left".

"You know, I'm not good at this stuff but I think maybe you know, I can take Esmee and you guys can talk about it. Get intimate".

Bella scoffed. "Intimate? Did you know that we haven't had sex in 2 months? not even one little peck on the cheek when he goes off to work". Alice patted Esmee's head and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm gonna' go. I'll see you later Bella. I'm sorry."

"Goodnight Alice".

Bella could hear Alice's footsteps as she went downstairs.

"Goodnight Edward".

"Night Alice".

Bella turned on the baby monitor and then walked into her bedroom. She put on a white t- shirt and some boxer shorts. She knew she had to talk to him sooner or later.

"Edward come here!" she called out. "Please!"

He came upstairs. "what?"

"Maybe we should do our homework"

he sighed and sat down on the bed. Bella kept the lights off and closed the door.

"Do you want to tell me something?" Bella asked.

"No"

"Come on Edward. Please."

"Ok, I don't want to see a shrink about our problems anymore. I think we need to fix whatever is going wrong here. Here at home. Just you and me".

"Fine"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Edward, if it means you'll talk to me and tell me what you're feeling, yes I'll do it".

"Ok great". Edward got up and opened the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Say goodnight to esmee. why?"

"she's asleep. You'll wake her".

"I'm going to watch t.v"

"We have a t.v right here. Don't try to avoid me".

Edward smiled and closed the door. "fine"

"Oh my god"

"what?" Edward asked.

"you just smiled".

Edward put on his serious face and then walked towards the closet. He took off his pants. Bella caught a glimpse of his briefs and got aroused.

_So this is what it feels like when you're not getting any sex_

Edward noticed Bella looking at him in the mirror. Bella looked at his reflection and cleared her throat.

"goodnight"

"Bells?"

Bella looked up from the covers.

"Why did we stop having sex?"

" I don't know Edward. You tell me. "

"Jesus, Bella. You can't blame me for every problem in this relationship".

"Well you don't really tell me what's on your mind Edward. I'm not a fucking mind reader".

"Time-out!" Edward yelled. "forget I mentioned it Bells. Goodnight."

Edward slipped inside the blankets. Both of their backs facing each other.

It had been 3 hours since they went to bed and Bella still couldn't sleep. She was upset, confused, and aroused.

"Edward?"

No response. She moved towards him and touched his shoulder. He was asleep.

Bella figured she would just take advantage of the situation so she she put her arms around Edward. She could feel him breathe and how she missed the sound of his heartbeat against her ear.


	4. Jacob

When Bella woke up the next morning, Edward was in the kitchen feeding Esmee.

"morning"

He looked up at Bella and then continued to feed Esmee. "Good girl. Don't get it on your dress".

Bella poured herself a cup of coffee and walked towards the table. "Why aren't you working?"

"I wanted to take Esmee to school today".

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Is it because of what I said in the session yesterday?"

"No".

"You know it's only kindergarten. You have like 13 more years worth of opportunities to take her school".

"Do you want me to leave Bella?"

"No. I just don't want you to get offended".

"Let's go Esmee. I'll be back later"

"yeah". Replied Bella.

20 minutes had past when she heard a knock at the door.

It was Jacob.

"Jake! I can't believe it. I haven't seen you in like 3 months. Where have you been?"

"I was in the neighborhood so I decided to come down. Robe and slippers huh?

Bella blushed and looked down at her sleepwear. "How embarrassing. Hold on. I'm going to change my clothes. Come in".

Jacob walked in as Bella ran upstairs.

She threw on a sweater and some shorts.

"So where have you been?"

" I was in Arizona. I'm moving there in a month".

"What?" bella's heart sank.

"But who will I talk to?" She said holding back tears.

"Hey hey, what's the matter Bella? You haven't even tried contacting me these past few months".

"I just.." she cleared her throat. " Edward and I, we're just not.."

"Did he hit you?"

"Oh god no".

"then?"

"No, we're just going through a tough time. I just really need some support you know?"

"Bella, I'm here" He held her as she cried.

Their hug was interrupted by keys slamming on the counter.

Bella moved away from Jacob and looked over at Edward.

"Get out"

"I'm talking to Bella". Jacob said.

Bella walked forward and stood between the 2 men she loved most. "Jacob was just telling me that he's leaving next month. I got a little emotional".

"I have to go Bella. I'll call you later".

Bella walked him to the door and then walked towards Edward.

"what the hell was that?"

"Is that why you were so anxious for me to leave today?"

"You have got to be joking me!"

"Well don't you think it's a little suspicious?"

"I'm not going to listen to this".

Bella walked towards the stairs when Edward grabbed her arm and pulled her down.

He kissed her and Bella pushed him away.

"Don't do that!"

He grabbed her and didn't let her go. "You're my wife. I can do whatever the hell I want with you!"

"Stop it" Bella yelled and tried to kick him.

He put his hands under her sweater and cupped her breasts. "Stop fighting me!"

He carried her upstairs and threw her on the bed.

"Edward stop!"

He took off her sweater. Her breasts were exposed and he pulled her arms back as he kissed her breasts.

"Edward stop!"

He unzipped his pants and took off her shorts.

He went in her hard and she screamed.

"Ow!"

He didn't slow down. She tried to push him away but didn't succeed. He was stronger. Much stronger and she knew it.

His face was bright and his vein bulging from his forehead. Obvious anger in his face.

After he finished inside of her he let her go. She sat up and slapped him.

"You're disgusting!"

He pulled up his pants. Anger and tears were visible in his expressions.

"You ruined everything!"

"Oh grow up Edward! We have a daughter! We need to be financially secure and that stupid band wasn't giving us that!"

"I wasn't talking about the band. I was talking about Jacob".

Bella stared at Edward. Not sure what to say.

"I saw you Bells" tears streaming down his face. "The both of..." and then he walked away.

"Edward!" She followed him down the stairs. " Edward stop it. Talk to me. please!"

"I have to go" he picked up his jacket and opened the door. He turned back and said, " I loved you Bella" and then he walked out.


	5. waiting for his phone call

It had been 2 hours since Edward stormed out.

Bella sat in her bed waiting to hear from Edward. She could feel her stomache turning.

_what was he talking about? Jacob?_

"Oh no" Bella leaped off the bed and ran towards the phone. She picked up her phone and dialed.

It rang 3 times.

"Hello?"

"Jake! it's Bella".

"Bella! what the hell just happened? are you ok? did he hurt you?"

"He knows"

Jacob didn't respond but bella knew he was on the other line. she could hear him breathe.

"How do you know?"

Bella was already suppressing tears and her voice cracked as she spoke.

"He told me. He was so hurt".

"Bella, listen, I have to go take care of some things. I'll call you later tonight around 8 o'clock".

"Yeah".

"Ok, bye".

Bella paced around the room playing with her hair and looking at her phone.

_I hope he isn't getting drunk. I can't believe how stupid I am. Why did Jacob hang up? what am I going to tell Edward? _

Bella felt the room spin. She threw herself on the floor and shut her eyes. A flood of memories came at her all at once. Like pages turning in a scrapbook. her first date, first kiss, wedding vows, renesmee's birth, and the fighting.

She put her hands on her head and screamed.

"Stop!"

The phone rang.

She ran to pick it up.

"Edward!"

"Hi Bella it's Dr. Carlisle. I just wanted to remind you that we have an appointment tonight at 7".

Bella closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.

"Hello? Bella?"

"Yes, um I can't.....w...we can't make it tonight Carlisle. Our little girl has a play tonight so we'll have to reschedule that for tomorrow".

"well I can't get you guys in tomorrow and I feel like we're getting somewhere and I don't want to wait another week".

Bella paused for at least a good 25 seconds and it had become evident to Dr. Carlisle that something was wrong.

"Bella? what is it? what happened?"

"Dr." she sobbed. "It's my fault. I just....I....oh god"

"Why is it your fault Bella?"

"I cheated on him with my best friend".

"Bella maybe you should come in and talk to me about it right now. Tell Edward to drive you over here and we'll deal with it".

"I can't" Bella didn't bother to wipe away her tears anymore. "He's gone. I don't know where he went".

"Ok. Let's just talk here then. I don't want you to drive anywhere like this. Why and when did this happen, Bella?"

"I already told you he was always gone. Playing with that stupid band right? well I was really angry with him one afternoon because Esmee was sick but he still wanted to go and play at some stupid bar. I mean I had to go to work and he didn't care so he just left. I called Jake, my friend, to come over and stay with Esmee. I was really upset and, well, he was there for me".

"There for you how? a shoulder to cry on?"

"well yeah".

"and you slept with him?"

A rush of shame swept all over Bella's body.

She whispered, "yes".

"Edward walked in on you?"

"No. I don't ....I don't know".

"You don't know?"

"If he did, he never said anything. I didn't know that he knew anything about that".

"Bella I think you two should come in as soon as possible. Please."

"No, I need to talk to him. We need to work it out on our own".

"Are you sure?"

"I'm not sure about anything anymore Dr." and then she hung up the phone.

She walked in the closet and pulled out a t shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

_Ok Bella. You're going to take a shower, eat something, call Alice and tell her to watch Esmee after school and wait for Edward to get back. He will be back. _


	6. 11 o' clock

"Daddy said he was picking me up"

It was 6 o'clock and Edward had not come back. Bella already had finished cooking dinner hoping Edward would have been home by now. He never took this long. Not even when he worked late. And now Bella was stuck in the kitchen table explaining to esmee over the telephone why her daddy didn't pick her up from school.

"Sweety, daddy had some errands to run. He's so sorry he couldn't pick you up. Are you ok?"

" I want to go home. I left snuggles on my bed"

" I'll tell you what, I'll tell snuggles that you sent him a kiss and that you'll see him tomorrow after school. How's that?"

"Ok. Bye mommy".

"Esmee!"

"Yeah?"

Bella's voice cracked. "I love you baby"

She could hear Esmee handing Alice the phone.

"Bella?"

Bella cleared her throat. "Hmm?"

"Have you reached him?"

"No".

"I can't believe he didn't pick her up. That's so unlike him. What the hell is he........esmee honey, can you go to my bedroom and watch t.v?"

Bella chuckled. "Sending my kid away so you can bash her father?"

"I'm sorry Bella what the hell is happening over there?"

"I'm handling it Alice"

"No, you're not. Do you know how embarrassing it is? Esmee's teacher calling me asking where her parents are and I had to pretend that I had forgotten that you two asked me to pick her up!"

"That's not fair. I didn't hear the phone ring Alice."

" Oh really? and when exactly did you notice that your 5 year old daughter wasn't home yet?"

" I don't have to listen to this shit ok! My husband is god knows where, I have been going out of my fucking mind worrying about him, food's getting cold, and I'm starting to really think that our little family isn't going to make it!"

Alice could hear Bella tossing plates against the wall.

"Bella? Hello? Bella?"

She threw herself on the floor and put her hands over her face and rocked back and forth.

"Alice"

"What?"

"I fucked it up. I fucked us up. All this time.." she chuckled. "all this time I thought Edward was the reason we were dying. It was me. I killed us".

Alice waited a couple of seconds before she spoke.

"You're not dying Bella. You're not dead. You guys can pull through. I know you can. He loves you so much and I know you love him more than anything. I know it's hard believe me. Jasper's always on the road with his band and it's scary sometimes. You feel like your marriage is slipping but then you remember the good times and you make a list".

"A list?"

"Yeah. Pros and cons of your marriage. Sometimes when you start considering a divorce, you look at your list and it makes you stronger. It makes you try harder"

Bella got up and wiped off her tears.

"Thank you Alice"

"Take care of yourself Bella. If anything happens, call me".

"Yea. Bye."

"Bye".

Bella put her phone on the kitchen table and picked up the broken plates of the floor.

_I need to make a list_

Bella grabbed a piece of paper from Edward's office and sat in his chair. She wrote Pros and cons for the title.

Bella went to bed at 9 and checked her phone once again.

2 missed called from Dr. Carlisle. They missed their session.

She heard a bang downstairs at 11. She walked out and looked down. It was Edward. He held his jacket in one hand and a bottle of Vodka in the other. He was drunk.

"Edward!" she ran downstairs.

"Leave me..(hiccup).. alone!" Edward pushed Bella's chest back with his hand. "Don't touch me!"

She pushed his hand away and put her arms around his waist.

"I'm so happy you're ok" her eyes started watering.

"Let me go Bell.." Edward fell on the floor letting his jacket fall but not his bottle of liquor.

Bella kneeled next to him and put her hands on his face. So close their foreheads touched.

"Edward please talk to me. Please" she whispered.

Edward looked at her.

"please" she said again.

He put his hand on her hair and placed a strand behind her ear. Bella closed her eyes.

"Bella?"

"hmm?" Bella asked. Her eyes still closed.

"Bella?" She opened her eyes and looked into his eyes.

"go to bed".

Her heart felt heavy and her eyes watered again.

"Edward please"

He removed her hands from his face and got up with difficulty. He opened the door to his office and stepped inside.

Bella still on the floor watched Edward as he closed the door.

Edward walked in and threw his jacket on the couch. He sat down in his chair and looked down at a piece of paper. He turned on his lamp and read it.

It read...

**pros and cons of our marriage**

- I cheated (con)

- selfish (con)

- fighting (con)

- yelling (con)

- resentment (con)

- he hates me (con)

- I love him (pro)

Edward took the paper and crumpled it up. He took a lighter from his drawer and burned it.


	7. Dr Carlisle

**Thanks for the reviews. I'm getting the hang of it and I hope I'm making some sense. Thanks so much.**

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Bella sat in the kitchen sipping her coffee when Edward walked in. He was already dressed and ready for work.

"Coffee?" Bella asked.

He picked up his keys from the counter and said no.

"Edward, don't bother going to work. I called in sick for you again".

"what? why?"

"We have a session today with Dr. Carlisle. I called him after you got home last night and he said we can come over for an hour".

" I already told you Bella. I have no interest in speaking to him about our problems".

"No Edward. You have no interest in speaking about it period!"

Edward played with his keys as Bella spoke.

" I love you Edward and I'll be damned if I let you do this to us!"

He looked up. "Us?"

"Yes, us. You, me, and Esmee. Remember Esmee? Your daughter? the little girl you didn't pick up after school?"

Edward put his keys down. "Oh my god. I forgot about that. Is she ok?"

"She stayed with your sister. I called her this morning and told her to keep her over there until we work things out"

"Well I guess she'll be living there now" replied Edward.

Bella looked at her watch, "Lets go "

Edward sat on the other end of the couch when they got to Dr. Carlisle's office.

Bella was the first to speak.

"He was getting drunk last night"

"Edward?"

"I was with my brother, Emmet"

"Great. Tel the world about our problems" Bella said.

"Just like you told Jacob about our problems, right Bells?"

Bella looked at Dr. Carlisle.

"Bella did you tell Edward what you told me?"

Bella's lips quivered. "Um, no".

Edward looked at Bella.

"I think maybe we should address it now"

"He already knows".

Dr. Carlisle looked over at Edward.

"Do you know, Edward?"

Edward bit his lower lip and looked at the floor. He allowed himself grief only for a minute and then looked up at Dr. Carlisle expressionless.

"That she fucked Jacob?"

His words made Bella's eyes water and she bit her lip as she looked out the window.

The room remained silent for a couple of seconds until Dr. Carlisle spoke out. "Bella?"

Her head was still turned facing the windows. Dr. Carlisle could see the tears flow.

"Bella, you need to stop. When you're in here, you're so upset. You scold Edward for being irresponsible and childish. Why can't you express how you feel right now? Tell him what you want. Tell him what you told me on the phone yesterday"

Edward looked at Bella and Bella looked at Dr. Carlisle. She wiped her tears away and sniffed.

"Edward.." Carlisle stopped her and told her to face to Edward. They faced each other and she started up again. "Edward, I love you so much and I'm sorry for what I did"

"what are you sorry Bella?" Dr. Carlisle asked.

"I'm sorry that I turned to Jacob when you were gone. It was wrong. Can you please forgive me?"

Bella reached for Edward's hand but he quickly moved it away before she could touch him.

"It took you 2 years to tell me what you did"

Edward's face flushed and the vein on his forehead popped out.

"I am so so so disgusted with you"

Bella's eyes widened at she heard him speak with such hatred in every word he spoke.

"Everyday since I saw you that night, I have waited for you to say something. Anything!"

"Edward, why didn't you say something? why didn't you come through that door and.."

"..and what? tell Jacob to get off of you!? Maybe I would have but you seemed to have been enjoying every minute of that pigs hands and dick all over you!"

Edward's tears streamed down his face.

"Did you know that I quit that night? that's why I came home early. I was going to surprise you"

Bella covered her mouth with her hands.

"Bella, why did you cheat on Edward? Are you in love with Jacob?"

"No. I love Jake but I'm not in love with him. I was just mad. Esmee was sick and he just left anyway. I called Jake and he came over and supported me"

Edward wiped his face with his jacket and put his shades on.

"Bella, where was Esmee while you two made love?"

"She was in her room sleeping. She was sick" Bella blew her nose and kept the tissue in her hand.

"Edward, where did you go after you found them together?"

Edward cleared his throat, "I was with Emmett"

Bella scoffed. "The most irresponsible of the bunch"

Edward shot back, "You fucked Jake with my daughter in the house".

Bella closed her eyes. "stop saying that!"

"ok ok lets just talk. No arguing" Dr. Carlisle said as he sat up.

"I'm going to ask you both a questions and I want an honest answer. What you feel, ok?"

They both nodded.

"Bella, do you want this marriage to work? "

Bella looked at Edward first and then at Carlisle.

"Yes".

"Edward, do you want this marriage to work?"

Edward looked at Bella. "I gave up my music for you"then he turned to Carlisle.

"No.." He chuckled and continued. "You know Bells, I waited for you. I waited for you to admit what you did. You know what my irresponsible brother Emmett told me that night? He told me that you were worth it. He said that I shouldn't give up on our marriage. He said that Esmee needed to be brought up in a family environment with two parents who love each other. All I kept saying was that I couldn't sleep in our bed anymore. I get home that night and you pretend like everything is fine!? I asked you the other night why we haven't made love and do you remember what you did? You asked me why we weren't sleeping together. You blamed me once again for our shitty marriage. I'm done Bells. I don't think I want to fix us anymore"

Edward got up and grabbed his jacket from the couch. "Thank you Carlisle but I think if I stick around any longer, I'll do something I'll regret"

"Like what?

Edward paced around, "Punch a fucking wall"

"Ok but one more question Edward"

Edward kept pacing and faced Carlisle.

"Why weren't you this upset before? why the suddent eruption?"

"Yesterday. Yesterday morning I stayed home from work so we could talk things out. I take my little girl to school, come back with an open mind and what do I find? Jacob. That asshole had the nerve to walk back into my home"

Bella sat up. "Edward, you didn't say you were staying so we could talk!"

"Why would I stay home, Bella? Wha...I never stay home"

Bella sat back on the couch again and looked at Carlisle.

"I'm going" Edward said and reached for the doorknob.

"Edward!" Carlisle called out.

"I want to see you both tomorrow at 2 o' clock"

"I don't want to fix it Carlisle. I already told you I'm done!"

Bella started sobbing.

"Edward, please reconsider. I think we can fix it. We need communication from you both. Tomorrow. 2"

Edward walked out.

"Bella, I see people like you and Edward everyday. This is progress. I know it hurts you both but we're getting somewhere" He hed Bella's ahnd and smiled.

"I'll leave you alone for a little bit". Carlisle walked out and Bella remained on the couch and played with her hair as her tears dried up on her cheeks.

She hummed and sang in a whisper. "Every time we say goodbye I die"


	8. Heartbeat

**Damn, I keep freaking out whenever I find out I have a review. Thanks so much for the positive vibes.**

* * *

It had been 4 hours since Edward ditched Bella.

Alice drove up with Esmee in the back seat.

"Mommy!" she yelled.

Bella opened the door and sat in the passenger seat. She turned back, "Hi baby" and kissed her on the cheek.

"Am I going home now? is daddy there?"

Alice turned to look at Bella as she started the engine. Bella looked down at Esmee's seatbelt.

"Bella, do you want me to drive you guys home?"

"Yeah".

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I don't think he went home. He's proably with Emmett again"

"Uncle Emmet? can we see him mommy?" asked Esmee as she bit into her brownie.

"No honey we need to get home"

When they got home, Esmee ran inside and called out to her father.

"Dadddddddddddddddy!" She ran in the kitchen, his office and then upstairs.

Bella walked in and threw Esmee's things on a chair and looked upstairs.

"Esmee!" she called out. No response. "Sweety!?" Bella waited but again, she didn't respond. She made her way upstairs and heard her voice down the hall. "honey?"

" I made you a picture daddy. I made this. "

"Oh that's so pretty Esmee"

He was home.

Bella felt relief but didn't say anything. She stood beside her bedroom door and listened to Esmee describing her picture. She peaked and saw Esmee sitting on Edward's lap.

Edward held his daughter and smiled as she explained each detail of her drawing.

"Esmee, I'm so sorry I didn't pick you up baby"

"It's ok" Esmee replied. He kissed her head and held her a little while longer before Esmee got up to do her homework.

Bella walked in and Edward looked away.

"Edward do you want to eat something?" she asked as she placed her jacket on the nightstand.

"No, I already had something" He went inside the covers and hid his head under his pillow.

Bella sat on her side and looked at him. She pulled the pillow from of his face.

Edward had his eyes open already facing Bella. She tried to read him. See if she could figure out what he was thinking.

A minute passed before he spoke. "What are you doing?" No emotion in his face or voice.

"I want to see you" she replied.

They didn't blink. The stayed silent and didn't move. Eyes looking at each other.

"I wish I could read your mind Edward. I wish I could figure you out. I wish...I wish" she closed her eyes and bit down on her lip.

Edward pulled her hand towards him and placed it on his heart.

Bella opened her eyes and looked at her hand.

"Bells, did you know the first time I ever saw you, I just, I.." his eyes watered. He placed his fingers on his eyes and squeezed them. He tried to stop himself from getting emotional. Then he continued.

"..my heart was beating so hard I thought it would come out of my chest".

Bella smiled and Edward wiped her tears away with his hand.

"I thought to myself, wow this girl is beautiful and she's smart too. I need to be with this girl".

Bella chuckled. "I remember. Biology class".

Edward sat up and took off the covers.

" I don't regret any of it. You made High School and College the best years of my life. And to top it all off, you gave me a beautiful baby girl". He took Bella's hand and kissed it.

Tears streamed down his face. "Thank you for that".

Bella felt her heart sink once again. Edward got up and walked towards the closet.

Bella remained on the bed and watched Edward as he pulled out his luggage.

"Edward?" She got up and walked towards him. "What are you doing?"

"I have to go. I'm staying over at Emmett's".

"What?"

"I can't do this Bella. I'm so sorry".

Bella held Edward. He tried to pull away. "Bella stop it".

"No please. Why won't you work this out with me? Please!"

"Bella, I can't do this. I just need time to think ok. I'll see you tomorrow at the session but I can't live here with you anymore".

"I already told you that Jacob was a mistake Edward. I'm so sorry. What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing Bells. I know you're sorry and I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I was so selfish but I still feel like this isn't going to work. I can't do this anymore".

Bella sobbed and spoke at the same time. It was almost inaudible now.

"Edward plea...oh please I love you".

Edward's tone grew louder. "I don't Bells!"

Bella let him go and stopped crying.

"what?"

Edward looked down at the floor stiff. Bella looked up at his face and didn't blink.

"What did you say?"

He avoided her eyes and looked at the nightstand.

"Oh my god" she said.

He met her gaze and said again. " I don't...." the tears came down again " love you anymore".

She felt her arms, legs and body go limp. She fell to the floor. Edward walked towards her to help her up but Bella pushed him away. He kept walking towards her but she fought him. She pushed and kicked, then finally screamed.

"Get out! Get out of my home!" She grabbed the telephone and threw it at him. She missed. Edward grabbed his bag and walked out the room. Bella couldn't cry anymore. She sat in shock as she heard Esmee outside her room asking her daddy what happened and Edward assured her that everything was fine.

"Come on baby. We're going to Emmett's house". Esmee squealed and then closed her door. "Should I say goodbye to mommy?"

"No no no. She's taking a nap".

"You'll see her tomorrow ok?"

And then they were gone.

Bella remained in the fetal position all night. Replaying what had happened that afternoon.


	9. Emmett

**Thanks again, guys. I appreciate the feedback! **

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When Edward stepped inside of Emmett's home, he was at the door already waiting for him.

"Esmee!" He yelled.

Esmee ran into Emmett's arms and kissed him on the cheek. Emmett held her and patted Edward's back as they walked in.

"I'm hungry daddy".

Edward took Esmee and walked into the kitchen. He looked in the fridge and tossed cans of beer around.

"Emmett, really? no food?"

Emmett giggled. "I can order out if you want?"

Edward looked at Esmee and smiled.

"Pizza!" She yelled.

Emmett grabbed the telephone number already on standby on the counter and dialed.

"Hi can I have a large pepperoni pizza please..."

"Daddy" Esmee whispered and tugged on Edward's jacket.

He looked down. "Hmm?"

"I'm allergic to pepperoni"

Kellan heard Esmee and turned to look at Edward.

"Kellan, no pepperoni on half!"

Kellan nodded and waved his hand.

"Can I play daddy?"

"Yeah, stay in the living room" Esmee walked into the living room and picked up Emmett's Star Wars figurines.

"So, what happened Edward? another argument?" Emmett asked as he put the phone down.

Edward put his hands on his face and rubbed it hard. "I'm just.... I mean I don't know anymore".

"Know what?"

" I just feel so different about us now. I mean I kept it bottled up this whole time and now that it's out, I feel like the logical thing to do next is just walk away".

Emmett put his hands on the counter. "You mean leave her?"

Edward sighed. "Yeah".

"What about Esmee?"

"I've been thinking about that. I don't know".

"Edward, you're my brother and you know I love you but...." he chuckled. "I think Esmee needs to stay with her mom"

"I know. Wait, why did you laugh?"

"Dude, you didn't even know Esmee was allergic to pepperoni".

Edward put his head on the counter and groaned.

"Hey hey hey, calm down".

Edward looked up. "I told Bella I wasn't in love with her today".

Emmett opened his mouth but nothing came out. He wasn't certain what to say.

"Yeah, don't say anything. I know".

"So you don't love her anymore?"

"I don't know. I mean, sometimes I wish I didn't go back home and find Bella with Jake and other times I just wish I didn't play in that fucking band".

" Do you love her?"

"She made me give up my passion and she slept with that asshole".

"Yea but do you love her?"

"Yeah, I do" he said.

Emmett laughed. "Oh I see what you're doing. You told her you weren't in love with her anymore so she can feel like shit. Just like you did when you found them together. Am I right?"

Edward put his head on the counter again. "It's sick isn't it?"

"Yeah a little bit but I see why you're doing this. But let me tell you one thing Edward. She's not going to wait forever. You can go so far with this. And..and you both have a little girl you should be thinking about. Now I want you to do this ok? You need to grab your stuff, go home, and tell Bella you're sorry for acting like an asshole. And you have to say you're sorry".

Edward grinned and then shook his head again.

"See it sounds good but then I remember walking in that bedroom and looking at them together. That fucking image is stuck and I can't erase it". Edward put his palms on his temples and shut his eyes.

"Ok. So this is what you do. You keep seeking counseling with Dr. Carlisle and eventually he'll help you guys move forward. I've been telling you this ever since it happened. You guys can work it out. When I see you guys together, I know you guys are soul mates. I don't care if that sounds corny. Honestly Edward, I have always hated this about you. You never say what's on your mind. You shouldn't have kept it a secret. If I were you, I would have walked in my bedroom and kicked that guy's fucking ass".

Edward chuckled and Emmett did some karate moves. It looked unnatural. Esmee looked in the kitchen and giggled at her silly uncle kicking and punching the air.

"Ok, stop!" Edward was laughing so hard he put his hands on his stomach.

Emmett stopped and winked at Esmee.

"Oh man" Edward said as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "I haven't laughed in such a long time. That felt good".

Emmett walked up to Edward and gave him a hug. "Go home Edward".

Edward put his hands on Emmett's face. "Thanks".

He picked up his luggage and looked over at Esmee.

"No no no Edward. She's staying with me. We're going to eat some pizza..." Emmett walked into the living room and Edward followed. "..watch t.v and play some video games!"

"Thanks Emmett". He said.

Emmett picked Esmee off the floor and held her. "Say goodbye to daddy, baby".

"Bye daddy!" and kissed Edward on the cheek.

Edward opened the door and looked back at Emmett. "She needs to go to school tomorrow so don't stay up all night. Oh and don't give her any pepperoni!"

"yeah yeah yeah, go away" he joked and closed the door.

Edward got in his car and drove back home.

On the way back home his mind raced. How was he going to do this? Just walk in and say, "Hey I lied when I said I didn't love you and now I'm ready to move forward".

Edward pulled up and turned off the car.

"Ok Edward, you're going to walk in there and wake her up before you lose your nerve. Tell her you still love her and just see where it goes from there".

When Edward walked inside his home he looked around. It was dark and really cold. He walked upstairs and saw the bedroom door was still closed. He opened it, walked in and saw the dark room was empty. Bella wasn't in bed.

He moved a little to the left and saw her feet behind the bed. She was still on the floor.

He walked back out and closed the door.

"Jesus" he said as he put his back to the wall. He stayed there for a minute and decided to go back downstairs and went in his office.

"I'll talk to her in the morning".


	10. I love you

**This is probably the shortest story in fan fic history!!!! It was my first and it ended so abruptly LOL. Thanks for being so nice guys. Really. **

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When Edward got up the next morning, he walked into the kitchen hoping to find Bella sipping her coffee.

He walked in but Bella was not there. He walked upstairs and opened the bedroom door. This time Bella was in bed with the covers up to her head.

He walked in slowly and closed the door behind him. He tiptoed towards Bella and sat on the bed. He took off the covers slowly. He saw her long brown hair. He kept the covers down to her neck and cleared the hair off her face. He put it behind her eyes and looked at her. She looked peaceful as she slept. He put his hand on her cheek and kissed her forehead.

Edward got a little emotional. It had been a long time since he gave her a kiss. A kiss he really meant. He missed Bella so much.

He kissed her again and Bella twitched her nose. She put her hand on her head and rubbed it. Eyes still closed.

Edward grinned and moved away. He whispered into her ear. "Bella, get up".

Bella smiled but still didn't open her eyes. "Am I dreaming?"

Edward whispered again. "Open your eyes and find out".

Bella frowned. "No. I'm scared".

Edward chuckled and kissed her mouth. Bella's tears came streaming down and she still frowned. " Edward?" She reached out a hand towards his side. She felt his t shirt and smiled.

She opened her eyes and looked up into his eyes. He kissed her face again and stroked her hair.

"I don't get it" she said.

Edward's face grew serious again.

"Bella, I lied to you. I'm so sorry baby. I love you so much".

Bella held Edward's hand and sat up. "Why did you say that to me? Is there someone..." Edward put his hand on her mouth.

"I love you more than any fucking thing in the world. I wanted to hurt you and I know I did. But I promise, I will make it up to you for the rest of my life".

Bella wiped the tears from her face. "Edward, I'm so so sorry for what I did to you. And I will make sure I make it up to you. I'm not talking to jake anymore and I want to you to join the band again".

Edward grabbed the covers and pulled them up to Bella's eyes. He wiped her tears away.

"Ok, I agree about Jake but not the band. I'm not holding any grudges about that. I needed to grow up and take care of my daughter. That band kept me away and I still don't know Esmee's likes or dislikes".

"Are you sure Edward?"

"Yes".

Bella held Edward's hand tighter.

"Bells, I think we should still see the marriage counselor. I still have problems with the whole Jacob thing".

"I know. I want to keep seeing Dr. Carlisle. I think he can help us". She agreed.

Edward smiled and kissed Bella again. This time they lingered in each other's mouth. They loved the connection it made them feel. They were one again.

"I'm going to make you some breakfast Bells" Edward got up and Bella pulled his arm.

"Edward!"

Edward sat back down, "Yeah?"

"Why did you come back?"

"Emmett" Edward responded.

Bella smiled and looked down at her hand. "Irresponsible Emmet, huh?"

Edward smiled and got up.

"Edward!"

Edward looked back at Bella. Her face was serious and her eyes filled up with tears.

"Don't ever say you don't love me again. Don't or I'll die".

Edward kept his eyes on Bella's face.

He walked towards her and hugged her. He grabbed her face and gave her another kiss. Their kiss was passionate and Edward didn't let go. She pulled his shirt and put it over his head. Edward chuckled and kept kissing her. She pulled edward on top of her and he took off her shirt.

"I love you Bells. I love you so much" Edward repeated as they made love.

**The End**


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